August Report; it's an emotional one.
The Water Cure, emotional eating, resilience and love is blind UK
My reading has been shocking lately, I thought that when I quit short form social media I would free up all this time to read more but instead it just opened up a lot more time to overthink every emotion I am feeling. I did, however, read The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh which I thoroughly enjoyed. Although the upbringing of the girls in this dystopian world is unconventional, the feelings and desires they feel are very real. It’s a stark look at what it means to be a woman, parental influences, sisterly love, lust and control.
Gingers out of 5: 👩🏻🦰👩🏻🦰👩🏻🦰👩🏻🦰
This month I have been eating my feelings, desperate to fill the void of short form social media I have been finding comfort in biscuits and a brew in the lull that is 3pm at work and then repeating this in the evenings as I watch Gilmore Girls for the first time. I discovered that there is a line of digestives that is covered in ‘gold bar’ chocolate and they are sickly sweet especially when dipped into a sugar laden cup of tea - some people’s idea of hell but in my opinion nothing can be too sweet.
I am ridiculously lazy when it comes to food and you certainly won’t catch me prepping work lunches. Instead I am trying to embrace the wonder that is toast, I had a particularly lovely 1.5 slices of toast with avocado on for lunch at work the other day. The amount of toast is totally dependent on the amount of avocado, two slices felt like I was spreading it slightly on the thin side, hence the 1.5 slices. Tomorrow I’m going to try tinned mackerel in tomato sauce on toast - any other ‘on toast’ suggestions please drop them below.
I am currently trying to practice resilience and not taking things personally. As I have already shared in some of my ‘Lesson’s Learned’ posts, since deleting short form socials (did you know I’d deleted my socials? not sure if I had mentioned that already) I have been reaching out to friends to meet IRL. Some have been more successful than others and this has, at times, left me feeling a bit, should we say, put out. Like, am I not the main character in your life?
We all have a tendency to make future plans without actually making the plans, how many times do you say to a friend ‘we should meet for coffee soon’ and they respond ‘definitely’ but it doesn’t go any further because dates are never secured. Lately, I have been very specific when I reach out, I have been naming a thing to do (coffee, yoga, hike, etc) along with days I am available and asking if they have availability. I met with one friend, one friend rearranged three times and then said she’d send me some more dates and never did (it’s been two months since then), one friend gave me days they were free but said they weren’t free that week so would get back to me when they were free and I’m still waiting and another literally ‘hearted’ my message.
This leaves me with quite a few emotions to navigate as I am left thinking;
Am I not important enough to them?
Should I be important to them? We all have jobs, kids, partners, other important things - am I a narcissist for even asking this?
Do I text them again saying ‘hey, do you have any dates yet?’ or is that needy and having no self-awareness that these people don’t want to see me
Is it just plain rude to heart a message that is clearly a question?
Do I just focus on other friends
AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH - navigating friendships can be harder than relationships!
I ate up every last bit of Love is Blind UK, I even scheduled my evening walk to make sure I was back, showered and sitting on the sofa for when Netflix released the reunion episode. If you didn’t watch it I would advice you scroll on as there is nothing in this section for you but if you did and you want my hot takes, here they are;
I didn’t like Cat throughout the show but when Freddie didn’t marry her I felt so hard for her I shed a little tear. She was the perfect example, to me, of a woman who has spent a lot of her life feeling unwanted and protecting herself who was trying to open up and felt like it has been thrown back in her face.
Jasmine’s mum is just a walking red flag and no one can convince me otherwise.
Sam has literally made a complete fool of himself, he did nothing but brag about how much he had worked on his appearance before entering the show but, in my opinion, that was wasted and the money would have been better spent on therapy.
Nicole and Benaiah are goals.
There was a lot of bad blood between Steven and Sabrina and I think there is more to come out about their story.
I was pissed off to find out that more couples got engaged but they only followed 5, I understand that there is only so much air time but it takes away an element of authenticity that I like to imagine is real when I watch reality tv.
Maria is a queen but I did kind of want Tom and Tasha to get together.
- from hosts a truly amazing journaling club each month which I love taking part in, it feels like food for the soul.
This piece of writing from
is short but sweet and cuts like a razor for anyone who’s in the ex-party girl club.
Myself with kindness - the end.
Laura thank you so much for the mention I. Your recommendations 🥹🥹 sending lots of love to you as you navigate a new normal after socials. I’m on the same journey and it’s difficult at times. I can relate what you say about meeting friends IRL. I’ve tried not to take it personally but sometimes I do. I just have to remind myself they still use socials for communication and in that way. But boy my phone is quiet 😆😆😆